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Kiwicon IV: Our Worst CFP Yet
----[ TRULY THE FUTURE IS NOW, FOR IT IS THE YEAR
_______ _______ _____ _______ _______ ______
| || _ || _ || _ || _ || _ \
|___| ||. | ||.| ||. | ||. 1 ||. | \
/ ___/ |. | |`-|. ||. | ||. _ ||. | \
|: 1 \ |: 1 | |: ||: 1 ||: | ||: 1 /
|::.. . ||::.. . | |::.||::.. . ||::.|:. ||::.. . /
`-------'`-------' `---'`-------'`--- ---'`------'
And, in this distant future time, the black art that is our craft becomes
only more necessary. Speech becomes code, codes become weapon, weapons
become terror. Forewarned is forearmed, they say, and by this metric
we are vanguard warriors, ironclad as we step bravely forth. Though our
quests begat rewards, these trinkets shield us not from the futility of our
march; for it is the year 2010AD, and the end is nigh.
So, warriors, shamans, hobbits and humble herdspersons, let us burn the lanolin
of our final muster and make merry, for tomorrow, the future arrives and we
have seen the ominous cloud thrown up by its blackened hooves pounding the
horde ever nearer. We cannot stall, our protestations weaken it no longer; for
these are the end times...
-----[ THE FINAL MUSTER
___ ___ __ __ ___ ___ ___
| Y )|__|.--.--.--.|__|.----..-----..-----. | || Y |
|. 1 / | || | | || || __|| _ || | |. ||. | |
|. _ \ |__||________||__||____||_____||__|__| |. ||. | |
|: | \ 27-28 November, 2010AD |: ||: 1 |
|::.| . ) Wellington, New Zealand |::.| \:.. ./
`--- ---' `---' `---'
Yes, by hoof or by boot, it is time to plan once again the journey to the
idyllic palm-tree lined shores of New Zealand's sheep shearing capital -
Te Kuiti - for the annual gathering of our ilk. See the mighty shears! Taste
forbidden fruits at Bernie's Gas'n'Gobble! Marvel at the road signs that
allow you to steer around the dark, looming metropolis of Hamilton!
No, we jest. Sadly Kiwicon IV, the fourth installment of New Zealand's
very own hacker con is not, in actuality going to be in Te Kuiti. You try
getting a 350 seat auditorium and some decent beer there. Once again, however,
we return to Victoria University's Pipitea Campus - having finally put the
confusion about our origins as the NZ Institute of Minced Meats to bed - to
enjoy the fine research of our peers, the coffee of sweet Sweet Fanny Anne,
and the company of three hundred plus of Australasia's infosec finest.
Well, finest might be stretching it. However, at the very least, it'll be
more fun than getting your dags trimmed by a hungover dude in a black singlet.
We invite you, our herd, our fellow fleece growers, gathers and pullers, to
-----[ THE IMPLEMENTATION, V4.0
Kiwicon IV will be held at the same venue as previous Kiwicons, Victoria
University, Wellington, New Zealand on the weekend 27-28th November 2010.
Ticket sales will likely be available in advance this year, by the
unholy aegis of eCyberCommerce to avoid the complications of selling out
(ha-ha) in previous years.
Note that Kiwicon IV occupies the weekend directly after the triumphant return
of Australia's RUXCON, in Melbourne, 20-21st November - we'll be there, you
should be too. Go book your flights and tickets, and we can all sit around
and carp about Aussie beer and OWASPGate. It'll be great!
-----[ IN WHICH WE CARRY OUT THE TRADITIONAL CALL FOR PAPERS
Hacker cons need sello^Wspeakers (so we're told; apparently a vendor area
isn't enough! who knew?) and we're led to believe we can summon these from
the cybertubes, hence we utter forth this incantation:
Spring lamb of our kai
We offer for your leet warez
Om nom minty good.
We solicit from you, prospective speaker, the following:
>< The nature of your designation: what does your ear-tag say?
>< The nature of your talk: what do you care to bleat of, and why?
>< The nature of yourself: from whence do you bleat, and with what authority?
>< The duration of your bleating: how long is it?
>< The other black sheep: are you gonna go to Ruxcon in Melbourne?
(its the week before Kiwicon) Have you submitted there too?
Submit, if you would care to, thusly:
Initial round of speakers will be announced on the 27th September, final round
when the CFP closes 11th October.
Presumably if you are submitting to talk at a hacker con, you're familiar
with how this goes - talk about something awesome, do live demos, pop shells,
drop zero day and you'll be sweet. No vendor shillin', no whitehat illin',
and we're all sick of hearing about google hacking and PCI compliance.
No extra points for unix beards, apple ][ era tattoos or other ostentatious
Kiwicon is a single stream of talks, so timeslots will be allocated to the
length you need - if you've got 20 mins of material, submit 20 mins, not
padded out to an hour. This ain't no blackhat bizniss. There will be a
dedicated slot for a bunch of lighting talks, so if you've got 5 minutes of
justice, then wheel it on out.
-----[ ADMINISTRIVIA, FINE PRINT AND ACCURACY IN PRODUCT LABELLING
Kiwicon is a cheap-arse hacker con; fiddy bucks at the door, and we do our best
to try and make that go as far as it can. We can't compensate speakers or fly
y'out here to .nz (its a long way, man) but you'll have a good time, and if
you want a few cold beers we can certainly oblige. We'll try and score you
some swag or a chain of couches to sleep on if you want to go sight seeing.
If you submit, you'll need to be able to get yourself here and back home again.
We can write y'up something all fancy and shit to give to your employer or to
get your CISSP credits or however you park your tractor, or otherwise forge
whatever documentation you need, but despite photographic evidence to the
contrary, we're not rolling around in cash.
-----[ LAMBCHOPS AND OTHER PLEASANT SIDE EFFECTS
Kiwicons prior have featured sideshow events - competitions, training,
hands on lockpicking and wireless cracking. If you have something in mind
drop us a line. Many of you enjoyed HFQ, Tokemon, SKiDWaRZ, or the perspex
box full of money - why not step forward and help make Kiwicon awesome your
way? Gotta spare lamb you wanna spit-roast out front of the con? Fuck
yeah. Want to run a bus full of hackers out to Tangimoana for a BBQ? Why not?
Hands on classes (lockpicking! wireless hacking! arduinoz!) or even a full day
training course? Volunteer to help out and make Kiwicon moar win.
-----[ THE SHED
The cud ain't gonna chew itself:
Email us: kiwicon@xxxxxxxxxxx
Hip social networking: http://twitter.com/kiwicon
Drop by ircs: ircs.kiwicon.org:6697/kiwicon
Join the list: hackers-subscribe@xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(If you subscribed last year, you are still subscribed!)
Big woolly hugz to y'all,
Kiwicon Crue 2010AD
-----[ THE BACKEND, WHERE THE VELCRO GOES
 Well, actually, we love a good unix beard. Such luxuriant pelt.